Like everyone, I worked in a call center for a short time. My very first caller was a woman who had “a very serious problem that she needed to talk with someone about.”
She says “Hackers hacked my computer and now there’s this porno all over it!” I tell her it’s very unusual that someone would do this, and she tells me that “there’s no way my husband is looking at photography of naked men. He just would not do that. It’s not right.” You’re probably thinking what I was thinking; dude was in the closet, right? I figure that or the guy’s bi/bi-curious, even if they’re and older couple, maybe he’s carried this for a long time. Well, during the whole process of removing porn adware installed on her computer (processes running, startup options, etc., nothing special,) she says something that tips me off…
She says, “I’m just worried my daughter saw this stuff while she was on it last night while doing her home work. They work the kids so hard these days. She was up half the night in here, and I just do not know how she got it working with all these pop-ups.” Eureka.
Tags: Real Life
So, I have a category/tag/whatever called ‘Project X’ that I use for tagging items that will likely never come to fruition. This is another.
In the writing of a story, it quickly became apparent to me that the characters (at least many,) are heavily reliant on Stickam more than typical IM or something audio-only like Ventrilo. Of course, I know nothing of the culture, so I have to immerse myself in it, right? Research, right? I mean, I figure I’ll even ask a few people if they mind if I stick around their room to get the hang of the whole thing. So I decide to do this. In my best effort not to be a weirdo, I even try to find someone around my age amongst the fields of kiddies so I don’t appear so much like a creep. To my surprise I find a woman that’s twenty-five and even bears a superficial resemblance to one of my characters, so I figure “Hey, here’s a good place to start!” I enter the ‘room’.
The first thing I see? The woman has fallen asleep on her bed, and the webcam is on her laptop in front of her. Her pretty face is clearly seen in lamplight as she snoozes away. In another small video window off to the side? A man has pulled out his penis and is masturbating to her. Ahhh internet, like an abusive lover you’ll never change. Any time there’s a glimmer of hope, or something new to entertain, you disappoint me, and my only solace is to try to convince myself that you hurt me because you love me.
Tags: Project X · Writing
You may’ve already seen this, but just in case you haven’t… It’s the Frankenstein’s Monster of video games; a group of ‘developers’ called “Majestic Studios” have made their masterpiece which will save adventure games: Limbo of the Lost! How did they go about this? Simple, they played through other games, took screencaps, and animated a shitty model over them. I shit you not. Just open this screencap of Limbo of the Lost, and then check this one from Oblivion.
It was made by three guys all working from their home, and they’re so damn proud of their game it would be tragic, if it weren’t so goddamn funny.

Well, okay, except the cat on the right. He knows he’s going to hell.
You seriously owe it to yourself to run through the NeoGAF thread for a quick laugh, even if you only browse the pictures. Through the thread they find that many other games have had their graves pillaged to create this shining accomplishment, including Unreal 3, Silent Hill 4, Morrowind, Diablo, Return to Castle Wolfenstein, Black & White 2, and others, including ‘fmv’ from Pirates of the Caribbean flick, so, bonus points right?
Speaking of pirates, I’m going to have to pirate a copy of this game. It couldn’t get any better if it were done on purpose.
/edit: Oh god, it just keeps getting funnier! Ah Internet, I love you!
Tags: game · teh Funny