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Because where else would I be?



But I don’t want to be a murderer!

2005.12.20.02.15 · No Comments

On the internet there’s few places that I ‘make’ time for, even when I don’t really have time to be on the internet. One of those places has become, for some reason I can’t quite place, EvilAvatar.com. While on a visit there earlier tonight I saw someone post about Shadow of the Colossus. That someone said “It could have definetely used enemies. But I love the game for what it is. But I consider it more of a filler game then anything else,”. I shit you not. My reply?

I absolutely loved Shadow, but to want more colossi? I actually made it all the way to the last colossus. The killing has to stop somewhere, people. If the price of love is my soul, I would gladly pay it. But was it love I was fighting for, or my own selfish desires I was commiting murder for? It took far too long, but I came to realize it was the latter. And that’s not something I was willing to do any longer. Once I laid eyes on the final colossus, I just sat the controller down. And I turned the game off. I still haven’t beaten that colossus and I don’t plan to.

That seemed to surprise a few people, who insisted I had to finish it, to see the ending. Now, instantly I could draw the parallel to books or a movie. If you stop reading a book, that doesn’t change what happens in the story. The ending to a movie still ‘takes place’, even if you don’t see it and don’t know it. But what about games? Particularly one in which the entire game does not progress if the player doesn’t initiate it? (As opposed to Mario, if you stop playing, the time runs out and you die.) Is the game truly ‘unifinished’ just because the player stop playing it before an assumed ‘end’?

Most games would have us believe yes, and reinforce that by giving us ‘completion rates’, but those aren’t true gauges that we’ve exhausted a game’s fun or emotional range so much as they are a measure of the amount of content we’ve plodded through. I propose that this comparison to books and movies does not hold water. Claiming a game is ‘unifinished’ is just silly. You may not finish the ‘story’, but you certainly finish the ‘game’. When I turn off Tetris, the game is over. When the spoiled kid takes his football and goes home, the game is over. When file Shadow of the Colossus away into my gaming library, it is over. One day, I may just finish the story… But not today. And no time soon. Because I’ve finished ‘my’ story. And I didn’t have to slaughter every Colossus to do it. Right? Right?

….

Y’know what? Nevermind. I’m already a murderer fifteen times over. My soul is as damned as can be. At this point, if the sacrificing of one life can bring my love back hers, then it’s something I’ve got to do. I’m going right now to kill that fucker.

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